She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
