I cannot find my penis.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize