the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
