Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
