this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
