Are we in a gay sports bar?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
