Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
