they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
