I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So squirting runs in the family.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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