So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
