let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
