i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize
