either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
a search helicopter?!
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
