I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Everclear isn't food dammit
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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