my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize