Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
