4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
