shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
