after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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