Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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