So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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