xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
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