the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize