do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
