She said her name was "party"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
