Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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