listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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