naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
