thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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