Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
