Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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