he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
