So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
