direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
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