Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Terrible idea I love it
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
