your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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