I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
