i permit you to call me
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
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