so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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