pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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