Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize