whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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