im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
