I can text with my tongue
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
