What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
