i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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