"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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