You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
