I am puke
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
