you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
