There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
