Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
