I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
