My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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