some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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