Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
