there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize