Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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