what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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