So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
