Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
