I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
