your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
