when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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