he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
