and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
