Is it because I queefed?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
