Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
